Firstly, I commend this person for assembling a comprehensive collection on the history of Krystal Draper starting from the ripe age of 16. The suspense was killing me. I waited patiently for October 3rd and, when the day came, I was indeed pleased.

So, what next? The epic saga of Krystal Draper, which I’d been following since around 2003 (a taste of honesty from sly ol’ Nicole), must be far from over. I’m expecting some sort of shitstorm. Yep I’m holding my breath. I’m begging the Universe for a sign.

Unfortunately, being only an observer of this surreal internet circus, I have no information to contribute. The only thing I have to offer is the perplexing feeling that I know Krystal Draper as an old, old frienemy. After all, I’ve been acquainted with her fuckery for 8 years. Ever since I was a flat-chested social retard hanging out in the computer room during lunch, working dedicatedly on my own website complete with seizure-inducing animated GIF “blinkies” and over-photoshopped “blends,” forever at the mercy of IE5 and (gasp!) Tag-Board, I’ve stalked her, with the feeling that, wow, somewhere up North is a crazy bitch who is infinitely more pathetic than I will ever be. Sitting there at the fat little transparent blue iMac I would sit and pick my nose and laugh maniacally.

I’ve always enjoyed psychoanalysis as one of my many odd, perverted little hobbies. Krystal Draper has been my Internet project for 8 years. I hope it never ends.

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