Goodnight Internet hombres. Before I go, I leave you with this:

My favorite kid.

My favorite kid.

Sleep tight!

Autopsy investigation is under way

For now, post-mortem results will be withheld until further notice. Cause of death is pending investigation.

A glimpse at Krystal’s corpse can be attained here.

Insane Journal


I’m so excited. All my favorite buddies are there.

Don’t worry, I won’t be abandoning this blog! In fact, my goal is to have over 100 different blogs hosted by various blog hosting sites, all with duplicate entries. Eventually I will take over the Internet in this way.

A Psychological Tornado

Interesting things have been happening on the Krystal front. She hasn’t yet reverted to her old habits of Internet terrorism, but nonetheless, she is still alive and kickin’! No worries, friends.

If you haven’t already discovered this journalistic farce, allow me to introduce you to it. It is a fantastic piece of blogging material. The amazing thing about this journal: One has to keep in mind that, in order to experience it to its full potential, it needs to be refreshed approximately twice an hour. Only then does one have the privelege of being introduced to Krystal’s mysterious life! The fleeting blog entries are only made public for about 5 minutes or so at a time. This is made specifically for the purpose of allowing obsessive stalkers such as me to have endless fun! Alas, I have been revealed. Oh, Krystal, you have exposed me.

Regardless of my personal life and whether or not I am unemployed, living in my parent’s basement and dangerously mentally unstable (Protip: I am), I’m here to tell you about Krystal’s wonderful exploits. One ephemeral post on her website mentioned a recent tornado disaster near her home! The photos of the tornado (VERY impressive Krystal, your photojournalistic talents are abundant) that were linked on the page were mysteriously sourced from Tumblr, which leads me to think that, somewhere out there, Krystal has hidden a Tumblr goldmine for me and my psychopathic cohorts to find. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

Anyway, what really confuses me is this: Okay, Krystal. You made a post about a recent tornado disaster in Ontario. That’s cool. But then… why did you delete it? Please enlighten me. I don’t see anything personal about this tornado. There’s no use hiding it, Krystal, because it’s all over the news anyway. Don’t bother deleting posts about things that people already know.

News Item #2: Krystal has been “squirrelized:”

Guess who's the rodent? Ha! Ha!

Guess who's the rodent? Ha! Ha!

The picture’s great. Krystal, you’re gorgeous darling, and I love your voluminous hair. But I think the point of being “squirrelized,” if I have the meme correctly, is to be photographically interrupted by the squirrel. It kind of looks like you are just posing with it. The squirrel’s expression appears to say, “What the fuck am I doing here? I quit this bitch.”

Well guys, I guess I’m going to have to say, bye for now! I’m expecting a lawsuit sometime soon. That’s going to add loads of fun to my humdrum life!


An Inspiring Speech, By Nicole

Gosh, I haven’t blogged in months! I have good news. As of about a month ago, I am now a lawyer.

Yep, that’s what I’ve been up to! I’ve traveled to several different prestigious law schools around the world.

I found myself spending a lot of time in the Middle East (yes, that one) and have been taught by the most noble and ancient of law teachers.

I guess you could say I’m very cultured about law, because it’s true; for example, I now know how to behead Americans, over public broadcasts, in a professional environment. In fact, it was my final exam. Law is great.

Anyway, this is why I can relate to my girl Krystal for following her dreams and going for the medical / hair design career she’s always wanted!

We have a lot in common, Krystal and I, as we are both extremely adventurous, feisty and independent ladies.

Personally, I’m convinced there’s a special place in the hair plug industry waiting to be filled by Krystal and her revolutionary talent. Deep down, I knew scalp surgery would always be her thing.

Krystal, may God bless you on your travels through the mysterious world of artificial enhancement. I’m sure you are familiar with it by now, so cheers to you!

All that aside, I am pleased that my favorite globe trotter is back with updates on
1. her hair color
2. Canadian weather and
3. pictures of the side of her face.