Something Happened On The Internet

There’s parallel universes out there my dudes. I’ve witnessed it. Spoiler alert: This feels like that one scene from Annihilation when the alien mirrors everything Natalie Portman does – except the alien is named Jerry Maguire.

I’ll let the timestamps tell you who is the Original Angel – you’re absolutely right! It’s Me. I still don’t know who the fuck Bonnie Combs was.

Who is Bonnie Combs?

7 years.

I came across this blog’s login buried deep within my password manager and find it to be an amazing time capsule. I was almost considering deleting it but curiosity got the best of me and now I am googling away once again.

I have some questions. Who runs this website full of iframes? Who is the subject of this extremely unsettling blog? (Incidentally, I’m listed as one of the aliases of this “Bonnie Combs”, Krystal’s latest victim who appears to have reached a tragic end.)

I’ve also come across many attempts to SEO bomb Krystal’s online reputation. Unfortunately, all this really does is give an updated list of all her aliases.

Wow guys I am amazed that this has been going on for so long. I’m very impressed. I don’t know if anyone’s out there, right now, reading this. All I know is that my attention is drawn towards this again because I am insatiable.

If someone is indeed reading this and is still also curious, please feel free to pass on any information in the comments! I do not as of yet have any way of receiving DM’s.

 

Today is a good day. Today, I have returned.

OH DEAR BABY JESUS NO IT CAN'T BE

OH DEAR BABY JESUS NO IT CAN'T BE

Was I bored? Yes. Jobless? Yes. Homeless? Yes, yes, YES!

Nicole is all of these things! Which means – lucky for you – she has reawakened after billions of years in seclusion.

I’ve been traversing the galaxy in search of the elusive Krystal Draper – that ephemeral ghost with the flaky white skin and abrasively bleached hair. I know you guys missed me. There is a new chapter in the Saga.

More to come, hombres.

OMG.

Krystal, come back to me. I’m so bored I could vomit. And by “bored” I mean “drunk.” Does anybody know where that girl is? We’ve been separated so long.

uh oh

I seem to have scared someone away.
😦