So, today, Sara Mangus, Mysterious Anonymous Person and I witnessed some pretty profound “text diarrhea” (as it may be referred to on the web?) by our favorite hellbeast. The display of immaturity in her anonymous insults by her MANY invented personalities (all, coincidentally, using the same exact immature prose and making excessive references to prison) was so astonishing that I had to leave the room and go masturbate. You see, this kind of stuff gets me off, to be honest. I just can’t get enough. So, I was inspired to show the other side of Krystal – well, she has many, many sides – mostly, the side that wears the mask of maturity and disdain.

I am proud to present some intimate PMs. I’m honored to have this privelege. You cannot stop me. I AM the internet hate machine. I WILL destroy you. Over and over and over again. Because it gets me off.

Krystal displays her first sign of weakness when she metaphorically pulls me aside and whispers,

What is your email address? I am not dealing with this publicly. I’ve done nothing wrong. I want this to end. PM me your email and we’ll chat.

Okay. I tell her, “Krystal… my friend… this is private enough. No email address for you.” Paraphrased, anyway.

Her, she gets in real deep:

Alright. I would appreciate the following answered, truthfully.

1. Who are you? Be honest.
2. Why are you doing this?
3. What can I do to get you to stop?

And I do not want any of these PMs posted on your journal, blog, or anywhere else.

(Ha Ha Ha Ha!)

Now, I will post my response, for context.

1. I am not Sara Mangus as you may think. All I have ever been is Nicole.
2. I do this because I find you incredibly interesting. You’ve been following the same patterns for, what… about 7 years or so? I do this because I do not take the Internet seriously, and I take pleasure in watching and interacting with people who do. I’d like to know what goes on inside your head. I’d like to know why you are so insecure. I’d like to know why you constantly react to accusation using the most primitive form of defense ever – posting nude pictures of your “enemies,” spamming, anonymous insults – and you CONTINUE to regenerate yourself in a different blog, a different domain name, or whatever, year after year after year! I find it amazing! Do you do this because you don’t take the Internet seriously either? Or do you act like this in real life? This is all incredibly fascinating to me.
3. To get me to stop, you simply have to cease to be entertaining to me. Maybe this means reconciling with everyone, starting over once again, never copying another theme from someone else, or going into hiding forever – honestly, I don’t care WHAT you do! I’ll stop if I get bored. And I’ll get bored when you stop being so entertainingly crazy.
So… those are my answers to your questions. I’d like to know a little bit more about you – what are YOUR motives? What is your life like outside the Internet? Do you ever tell the truth? And finally – what makes you so angry all the time, and so uncomfortable with yourself that you have to resort to imitating other online personalities?

Words from Krystal Himself in response:

Yes but that is not what I asked. I asked who you are. Telling me your name is Nicole tells me nothing.

I’m not following any pattern. I’m not stealing anything. I was not starting drama. I was keeping a private journal to hold my memories and to keep in contact with friends when you came along.

I am not insecure. And I don’t copy themes from anyone. I had that layout on my blog long before Sara did and I will continue to use it if I’d like to.

I’m not going to bother telling you what my life is like outside of the internet because you won’t believe me anyway. I have been nothing but truthful in my blogs yet none of you believe it. You seem to be incapable of grasping the fact that people grow up, move on, move out of their parents house, get jobs, go to school, etc… so I won’t bother to tell you what I am doing because you will not believe me. You’ll continue to assume I live off my mother and don’t work. So why should I waste my time?

I am not imitating anyone, nor am I angry. I just want to be left alone.

You know, Krystal baby, denial really doesn’t support your argument. Coming from someone who argues for a living, I know. You really have to know how to beat me at this, Krystal! Or Am I Unstoppable?

I ask some more pressing interview questions here.

Then… what I still don’t understand is… what’s with all the immaturity, insults, and hate sites? Is this how you deal with everything? Look, that’s all I really have to go on!
OK, so you probably don’t live in your mother’s house. I can believe you on that one. But I think my chief impression of you is the Krystal who is SO ready to react to any offense, ready to take down her blog repeatedly (even though you can just keep it private!) and play this game of cat-and-mouse where you hide and we continually succeed in finding you.
If you really do NOT imitate Sara like you say, then you would have nothing to act so sensitively about. And you would ignore it. Look at Sara Mangus – You make an offensive journal about her, you threaten her… but she’s not really going anywhere, is she? It works both ways.
If we didn’t have to chase you around so often, then jesus, maybe we would get bored, leave you alone and find something else to do with ourselves. But I find it fun to argue with you and play your game. I can’t say the same for sure about ~krystaldraper, I don’t know who that is.

YET MORE DENIAL floods in from that tempestuous ocean that is Krystal’s soul:

I’m not the person behind the sara-mangus hate site. You won’t believe that anyway so it doesn’t matter. I’m not the only person being immature here. The same can be said for you, ~krystaldraper, and Sara. If you expect maturity on my behalf then you should at least try it out yourself. It works both ways.

The whole thing with Sara would never have happened if she hadn’t gone out of her way to find my old website last year and start harassing me again. I am not the one who went out of my way to find her, it was her who did that to me. I don’t want to be her. I don’t copy her and I certainly do not threaten her. You don’t even know the situation. You don’t know the background or anything that is going on. You think I am crazy? She is 100x crazier than I am and I’m not just saying that because I dislike her. She goes out of her way to cause drama all over the internet with tons of people.

Perhaps I move my journals because I don’t want my friends being bothered? And because you put them on that ridiculous ED page and I’d rather not have my family reading my entries? I’d like to keep a public journal but then you steal my photos, edit them and tear me apart. And you claim I am being immature?

I’m only immature and defensive when provoked and I really only do it because I find it amusing. I’m not crazy and I’m certainly not dumb. I don’t take what people on the internet think of me too seriously and I’m pretty sure all people are at least somewhat crazy – god knows I certainly suffer from OCD/ADD and am possibly bipolar but that’s beside the point. Being crazy has nothing to do with it. For some reason you don’t think you’re doing anything wrong here and I don’t get that.

Uh huh.


Yep, that’s right. It goes both ways.

You see, if you don’t take any of us seriously, then I don’t think you’d react so angrily and so immaturely as we see in all those “anonymous” comments.
And if you are not the person behind the sara-mangus hate site, then no matter WHO is behind it, why would they want to spend ANY amount of their time on it? Is there really a person out there who is just as judgmental and accusatory at Sara Mangus as you are? Because God knows how many people are accusing YOU of various things, so it’s believable to me, for example, that the ED site exists.
However, I don’t know Sara Mangus. Maybe she is just as hateable as you claim her to be. And I don’t know the extent of your beef with her, BUT, I DO know that you have had a lot of problems with other people over the years. I KNOW that. The blame still seems to be on you. I’m judging from the actions and responses I’ve seen over the years from many entertaining internet personalities.
I don’t EXPECT maturity from you. I don’t give a shit how people behave on the internet. I simply look at your reactions, I judge, and I respond with whatever damn reaction I want.
Not to claim neutrality on this, since I’m certainly NOT innocent in the whole matter, but I don’t talk to your friends, and I am not the one who is updating the ED page. If you want to discuss those problems, I’m not the person to discuss them with.
It’s true that everyone’s crazy. There are just some types of crazy that I strive to understand – I don’t think your reactions to our bullying say that you find it “amusing.” I think it says that you are taking everything far too seriously, and that shows guilt to me. This guilt makes it seem obvious that YOU are the instigator in all this “layout-stealing” nonsense. I judge actions, not statements.
I’m not doing anything wrong in the sense that I believe everyone involved in this is at fault on some level anyway. I’m just stirring things up.

You see, guys, I’m being reasonable, right? Right?


Well good luck with stirring things up then but I will have no more of it. The only reason I react so strongly to your actions is because I am sick of it. I am not the person I used to be and I will not tolerate being harassed.

I’m certain you’ll grow bored of me pretty quickly because my journal is locked and I won’t be responding to any more immaturity. If you want to act like an adult and talk to me as though you are one then I will reply accordingly, otherwise I am just going to ignore it.

Ahahahahahahaha. The ultimatum. Priceless.

This was where the conversation ended – but not before I responded, “Great! I challenge you to do that.”

And… guys…


Ohhhhh my. What a sorry, sad sack.

More messages to come from “her friend” ~barringtone! That one’s really entertaining.

A Psychological Tornado

Interesting things have been happening on the Krystal front. She hasn’t yet reverted to her old habits of Internet terrorism, but nonetheless, she is still alive and kickin’! No worries, friends.

If you haven’t already discovered this journalistic farce, allow me to introduce you to it. It is a fantastic piece of blogging material. The amazing thing about this journal: One has to keep in mind that, in order to experience it to its full potential, it needs to be refreshed approximately twice an hour. Only then does one have the privelege of being introduced to Krystal’s mysterious life! The fleeting blog entries are only made public for about 5 minutes or so at a time. This is made specifically for the purpose of allowing obsessive stalkers such as me to have endless fun! Alas, I have been revealed. Oh, Krystal, you have exposed me.

Regardless of my personal life and whether or not I am unemployed, living in my parent’s basement and dangerously mentally unstable (Protip: I am), I’m here to tell you about Krystal’s wonderful exploits. One ephemeral post on her website mentioned a recent tornado disaster near her home! The photos of the tornado (VERY impressive Krystal, your photojournalistic talents are abundant) that were linked on the page were mysteriously sourced from Tumblr, which leads me to think that, somewhere out there, Krystal has hidden a Tumblr goldmine for me and my psychopathic cohorts to find. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

Anyway, what really confuses me is this: Okay, Krystal. You made a post about a recent tornado disaster in Ontario. That’s cool. But then… why did you delete it? Please enlighten me. I don’t see anything personal about this tornado. There’s no use hiding it, Krystal, because it’s all over the news anyway. Don’t bother deleting posts about things that people already know.

News Item #2: Krystal has been “squirrelized:”

Guess who's the rodent? Ha! Ha!

Guess who's the rodent? Ha! Ha!

The picture’s great. Krystal, you’re gorgeous darling, and I love your voluminous hair. But I think the point of being “squirrelized,” if I have the meme correctly, is to be photographically interrupted by the squirrel. It kind of looks like you are just posing with it. The squirrel’s expression appears to say, “What the fuck am I doing here? I quit this bitch.”

Well guys, I guess I’m going to have to say, bye for now! I’m expecting a lawsuit sometime soon. That’s going to add loads of fun to my humdrum life!



A wise old man named “Krystal” once gave me a life-changing piece of information:

I am somewhat eccentric, geeky and a total intellect. In fact, very rarely will I lose an intellectual battle. I suggest that you submit and admit defeat now rather than challenging me to a battle of wits.

In a friendly act of rivalry, I will attempt to challenge the master. Who will win the battle of wits? How does one go about fighting with their wits? About what should we battle? Those questions will be answered in my next blog, or the next Star Wars movie, whichever comes first.

One intriguing aspect comes up, and that is the thought that Krystal and I appear to have twin souls. I realized this when we started independently developing identical websites and ideologies. Interesting! Excuse me while I delve into the spiritual world of the mind. Perhaps Krystal and I are truly meant to be one entity. Perhaps we will come together to become the Ultimate Destructor.

Only time will tell, my children. Only time will tell.

Totally Anonymous

Antonia found Krystal!

I’m so excited! I love this girl to death. Somebody give me her address so I can hide in her closet!

You can’t hide from me.

Welcome to hell, darling.

Aesthetic Genius

My favorite picture of Krystal is this one:


The photography extroardinaire has earned my respect forever more. Note how the focus is directed towards her attractive physique. I sincerely appreciate the stark contrast between the blur of the background and the grainy sharpness of her person.

Images like this should be revered and respected for all time. I give Krystal an overall A+ for emotional, snazzy self-portraiture.