The Enigmatic "Beefy"

Thanks to Spencer, I’ve finally gotten acquainted with the visage of Christine. Inspired by this collection of strange and disturbing photos, I’ve decided to write a list. List-making is one of my favorite activities, especially when I’m suffering a severe mental breakdown. My psychoanalyst suggested it. Enjoy!

List of Things I Like

  • Christine’s dog.
  • Christine’s face.
  • The picture of Christine in front of a parking lot wearing sunglasses.
  • Hot Wheels toy cars.

List of Things I Don’t Like

  • Christine And Friend having lesbian sex in a shower.
  • Christine And Friend having lesbian sex in a bed.
  • Christine having buttsex with Male Friend With No Balls and/or Female Friend with Shiny Red Dildo.
  • Being generally surrounded by vaginas.
  • Oh look! Christine goes to church.
  • Christine’s large, bearded friend.
  • Is that a vagina?
  • Christine’s nipple piercings. Jesus.
  • Speaking of Jesus, doesn’t this nice girl go to church?

I’d blog more about something, anything, but my entrails crawled out of my body and hid behind something and I have to go find them.